I am deeply saddened by the way some teachers and students treat each other in school. We have all observed or heard about teachers and students belittling, ridiculing, intimidating and ignoring each other much too often. This kind of mistreatment occurs in our “best” schools and our “worst” schools. One might expect it in our worst schools, but not in our best schools. Yet, it happens all the time.
Students go to school to learn – not just subject knowledge, but how to be good citizens in school and their worlds outside of school. Learning appropriate social behavior in the complex and constantly changing worlds in which we live is not easy. Most of us adults are still trying to figure it out. It requires ongoing teaching, learning and assessment, even more so than learning a language, math, history or science. Unfortunately, in the frenzy to improve academic test scores, we’ve lost sight of our higher imperative as educators to improve students’ social behavior and emotional intelligence – to educate our students to be brilliant citizens of their social groups, communities, and the world.
The emotional harm that occurs in schools as a result of poor social behavior causes enormous damage. I spoke to one high school student recently who told me that she has felt inferior and incapable in her math classes ever since her fourth grade math teacher angrily called her stupid for answering a question incorrectly. The teacher is well known for shaming children. Take a moment, please, to imagine the emotional distress this teacher has created in the lives of the children she has taught and continues to teach. Yet, this teacher is considered to be an excellent teacher. Unfortunately, she is no exception.
Teachers are not the only ones who mistreat students. Students mistreat each other. Parents are part of the problem, too.
School leaders can improve schools dramatically and create schools in which social behavior and emotional intelligence are valued as much as academic success. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Several years ago, two students in whom I have the utmost confidence to speak the truth told me that they witnessed a freshman being beaten by seniors, and a teacher walking by without intervening. It was “Freshman Beat Down Week” at one of the best public high schools in the region and country, according to Jay Mathews of the Washington Post. I called the principal to express my concern about the incident and to inquire about steps the school was taking to deal with the problem. She told me that “Freshman Beat Down Week” is a myth and that it doesn’t exist. Ignorance is bliss. Shortly thereafter, I learned that another freshman had her ribs broken by a senior. She refused to report it out of fear of retaliation by the seniors who beat her.
The problem is with the will, not the way. There are many ways, but few wills.
School leaders, with the will to take the necessary actions, can create schools in which teachers and students treat each other respectfully and compassionately in classrooms and hallways, and on buses and athletic fields. Leaders can create school cultures in which emotionally damaging and nasty social behavior rarely occurs – schools in which students, teachers and parents consistently treat each other respectfully.
To create schools devoid of mistreatment by teachers, students and parents, leaders must take the nasty-social-behavior-bull by the horns and wrestle with it until it is tamed and the school is a peaceful place. School leaders must address the issue head on, own the problem, and engage teachers, parents and students in finding solutions. It’s a school community problem that won’t be solved by punishment and rules.
Leaders must take the lead role in creating a joyful school experience for everyone. One excellent way to begin is with a school culture or faculty culture assessment. The data from these assessments provide excellent information about the source and nature of the problem. Based on these data, school leaders can design programs, establish initiatives, provide professional development and a myriad other interventions that will truly address the problem and transform the school.
That lead role is a tough role to play. Many school leaders seek the assistance of a school leadership coach to help them. If you are a school leader who wants to tackle the problem of negative social behavior and create a school that is both emotionally nurturing and academically challenging, contact us for school leader coaching services and/or teacher training/coaching services.